the reunion

Now, though, as I looked across the room from my vantage point at the entrance and saw him standing with a group of people, I knew everything had not been in vain.

He looked good. He had always been an excellent dresser. He was the only man I knew who could wear a polo shirt and khakis and still look like he just stepped off the pages of GQ. He was truly at ease as he chatted with those around him, most of which were women, for obvious reasons. His three-piece suit was tailor-made to fit his superb frame effortlessly. I could not discern if he had a ring on or not. But every time he gestured, the cost of the Hermes on his wrist could not be second-guessed. My gaze moved to his feet—brown Ferragamo shoes. He had done well, despite the predictions; so much about self-fulfilling prophecies.

Suddenly, his head turned straight in my direction. His eyes locked with mine. It seemed like we were the only ones in the room as the world stopped. Then one of his companions commented, and the moment was gone as he turned to pay attention. I shuddered. I could not read his expression from where I stood, but my body’s reaction was not foreign. Even after all these years, the feelings were still there. It was a joyful and alarming thought. To hide my agitation, I quickly grabbed a drink from a server’s tray and tried to get lost in the crowd.

The first time I saw Crosby, I was walking rapidly alongside him in the hallway before noon classes started. I had stayed back to help a classmate with an assignment and was now in jeopardy of starting a test in disarray. We were both late; I couldn’t help but admire his handsomeness and physique as he walked ahead. Before then, I had never seen him in school; after that fateful morning, I made it my life’s mission to know more about the boy who captured my innocent heart. My friends knew I had a weakness for good-looking guys, but they all thought I had gone nuts when I described my latest crush. Indeed, it seemed like I was the only one among them who did not know about Crosby, and for good reason. First, he was supposed to be a class ahead but had to repeat due to his bad-boy behavior. Second, we did not belong in the same circle at all. He was wild, they said, and the bane of the principal’s existence. Crosby, it seemed had a mind of his own where authority was concerned. There was no dissension among the teachers: Crosby would not amount to much in life.

I, on the other hand, was the perfect student, among the top five of the senior class. All the teachers respected me, and other students looked up to me as a role model. Yet here I was, obsessing not about my upcoming exams, but about Crosby, the boy every teacher prayed to not have in their class. There was just something about him, though. He looked and acted more mature than the other boys in school. I noticed he was always courteous when talking to others, so it baffled me where all the wild stories came from.

I admired him from a distance for a while. After several months, however, I yearned for more. Every time he passed by me, my heart literally jumped into my throat. But I could have been an ant for all he noticed.

My brothers belonged to the local Boy Scouts group. One day, as I dropped them off for a field trip, I saw Crosby giving orders to the young boys as they organized their backpacks. I couldn’t believe my luck. I approached him cautiously, unsure of myself and not wanting my eyes to betray my feelings to him. “Hi,” I said tersely.

“Hi,” he replied. We shook hands. The contact was electrifying for me. Warmth radiated from my palm to suffuse my whole body. If I had been light-skinned skinned, he surely would have noticed me blushing. He looked puzzled as I snatched my hand away from his, putting a safe distance between us. We introduced ourselves. “I’ve seen you around school,” he commented. Then, glancing at my brothers, “Nice kids; they’re very good Scouts.”

“Yes,” was all I could say; so why don’t you ever say hi? I thought. “I’m sure they’re in good hands with you.”

“You bet!” He smiled, and my heart skipped a beat. “Bye now, see you around.” He jumped onto the bus and closed the door. I watched until the vehicle disappeared, wishing it had been carrying just the two of us on our way to a lovers’ paradise for the weekend. I worried he wouldn’t talk to me when we next met, needlessly as it turned out. The next time I saw him at school, he said hi and we even chatted for a while. Things progressed naturally after that. Wednesday was club day at school, and I belonged to the Red Cross organization. So, after meetings, we would sit and hang out. He proved to be considerate, kind, and very friendly. The more time we spent together, the more our worlds seemed different; I preferred to hit the books and burn the wick, while Crosby loved to play and hang out with the girls when he was not into his scouting duties. But none of that deterred me; I was sure I was in love, though my friends assured me it was just a big case of infatuation.

He had his friends, and I had mine. Yet, at the end of the school day, he would walk me a fair distance before going home. He never made any advances toward me, though I was dying to experience my first kiss from him. He treated me more like a sister when all I wanted was to be held in his arms forever. Surprisingly, we had very good conversations; about politics, cooking, family, friends, and school, but we never defined our relationship. I was content just to be able to spend time with him. Toward the end of our senior year, I hoped that whatever we had would evolve, but it never

did. After graduation, we both went our separate ways, but thoughts of Crosby never left my mind.

Although his family lived just a few blocks from my house, I never ran into him. The little I heard of him I gleaned from mutual friends I encountered occasionally. As the years went by, he receded to a special part of my mind. I compared every date I had to our first long talk; I compared every man I met to him. I knew it was unrealistic, but something in me would not let Crosby die in my heart. My friends got married, bought a house, and traveled around the world. I chose to concentrate on my career, not because I wanted to, but out of a need to cling to something. Since my heart refused to love anybody else, I felt it necessary to focus on work to keep my sanity. I debated whether to attend the reunion. I wanted so much to see him—to catch a glimpse—but I did not know what my reaction would be at seeing someone else by his side, another woman wearing his ring and bearing his name. In the end, I decided to go. So, I had gone and bought the slinky dress—and the strappy sandals with matching clutch—and had the facial and massage.

Someone had gone to a lot of pains to make this reunion a success, I thought as I leaned casually against a decorated rail in a corner of the room, a glass of champagne in hand. I was escaping from the throng. I had smiled so much that my jaws were beginning to ache. Hopefully, nobody I knew would notice me for a while. But I was wrong. I almost grimaced when a former classmate made a beeline for me.

“Rachel!”

“Hi Nicole, how are you doing?” I exclaimed as I hugged her. “Gurl, you’re looking good!” Nicole had been my best study buddy in our senior year. She could talk a mouthful but when it came time to study you couldn’t ask for a better study mate. Besides, her memory was just insanely good.

“You’re looking fabulous yourself! Look at this place! I didn’t think so many people would make it.”

I nodded in agreement. “You must admit it’s nice to see old faces again.”

“Uh, it’s strange to see all these people you used to know when they had freckles on their faces and braces on their teeth. And now they’re all grown up, some married, some with kids. But the men sure look good...” Nicole’s voice trailed off as she focused on somebody across the room. “Him especially. Look at those lips!”

“Who is that?” I asked, knowing very well it was the one man no woman could keep her eyes off.

“Crosby, of course! God, he is gorgeous! He is doing pretty darn well, I hear. Did you know he just bought the Cronkite Dealership?”

I wasn’t surprised; Crosby did have a thing for cars back then.

“No...” My voice was quiet as I watched him from the corner of my eye. A beautiful girl was standing beside him, and you could tell they were more than friends the way they were engrossed in conversation. Suddenly, I felt something in the pit of my stomach. It was deep, almost searing in its intensity. I was in pain— from jealousy. I almost doubled over.

“Rachel, are you all right?” Nicole became concerned. “What’s wrong? Oh, Rachel...” She looked at me, then at Crosby standing with the beautiful girl, then back at me, and gasped. “Rachel, don’t tell me you’re still carrying a torch for him!”

I did not reply, but I was sure the answer was in my eyes. Suddenly feeling stifled, I planned an escape. “I...I’ve got to go get some fresh air,” I said and hastily made for the door, trying to appear dignified on four-inch heels.

“Do you want me to accompany you...” the look in Nicole’s eyes screamed pity for unrequited love.

“No, Nicole. I’ll be fine.” The air outside was crisp and clear. I breathed in deeply as my hands rested on the rail. My body was shaking, and my eyes brimmed with unshed tears. God, I shouldn’t have come tonight! What was I thinking? How dare I dream we would be together like the prince and princess in a fairy tale after so many years. Had he even felt anything for me back in high school? God...I need to get over him...My hands tightened on the rail. I shivered lightly as a slight wind blew my way. I looked toward the glass doors. The party was in full swing. I could not go back there looking and feeling like this. I’d end up making a fool of myself. He had seen me yet had not made any effort to say hello. I made up my mind to leave before anyone noticed.

 “Going somewhere?” the voice was deep and husky, and it sent beautiful shivers down my spine.

I gasped and looked up. It was the devil in my thoughts. Unable to speak, I could only stare wide-eyed at his tall frame. Even when he removed his coat and draped it across my shoulders, I still did not speak. My heart beat wildly as he gently led me to a chair in a corner of the garden. An odd feeling of security enveloped me. “You seemed to have a lot to talk about in high school,” he observed with amusement as he sat beside me. “Rachel?”

I searched the once-familiar face. He was even more handsome than I remembered, and maturity had only added to his attractiveness. It was a deadly combination. The breeze wafted his cologne into my nostrils. It smelled wonderful. And masculine. And it made me heady with longing. Get yourself together girl! I chided myself. “Hi, Crosby,” I finally managed to say softly. “How are you doing?”

He smiled, showing perfect white teeth. “OK. The party’s just starting in there though; where were you going?”

“I needed some fresh air,” I said evasively. “Thanks for the jacket.”

He shrugged. “Anytime.” His eyes were piercing as they studied my face. “You’ve grown into a very beautiful woman, Rachel. Do you remember how we used to sit like this back then, for hours, and just talk?”

I nodded. My confidence shifted into overdrive as I noted the seriousness in his voice. “Everything under the sun...”

“Yeah.” His eyes left mine to stare at a faraway place. “Everything except the one thing that mattered.” He moved closer. “But can you guess what I really wanted to do back then, Rachel?” he whispered.

“No...”

“This...” He drew me against his body and laid my head on his wide chest. “You used to smell so nice then, all I wanted to do was hold you forever, but I couldn’t.”

I was taken aback by the surge of emotion in his eyes. They were filled with a tenderness I had never seen. “Why? You didn’t seem to have trouble with other girls.”

He smiled. “Because you were you, Rachel. You were the smartest girl in the senior class. So innocent, so going places. And I was the wild boy who wouldn’t listen to anybody.”

“But I didn’t care!” I protested softly.

“I know, which was the more reason I wouldn’t fool around with you. You were very special.”

I batted my lashes seductively. “I didn’t think you cared.”

Soft laughter rippled from his chest. “Trust me, if I had shown you how much I cared, we would have been in a whole lot of trouble.” He kissed me lightly on the lips. “God, I’ve been longing to do that for years. I wanted you to be ready before I made my move. I only feared you might have fallen into another man’s arms.” He investigated my fingers. “I guess you haven’t.”

 “Who was that with you inside?”

“She’s just a friend.”

“You two seemed pretty close.”

“Are you jealous? As a matter of fact, I am quite unattached.”

I shrugged. It was hard to put my feelings into words. “Why didn’t you ever tell me you felt the same way I did?”

“Like I said, I wanted to be sure. It’s hard to pursue a dream when people have given up on you. I had to work hard to be where I am today. And I wanted to be able to take good care of you. Whenever I remember the lovestruck look in your eyes when I was around...”

I swatted at his arms. “I wasn’t lovestruck!”

“Yes, you were. Come here...” He hugged me tightly. “Don’t you feel the same way anymore?”

“I don’t know...back then, all I wanted was to spend the rest of my life with you, yet...”  

“So why can’t you?’

I couldn’t answer that question, but he sensed my emotions.

“Rachel,” he seized my hands and looked deep into my eyes. “I love you, Rachel. I’ve loved you since high school.”

I gasped, searching his face for the truth; his soul was wide open for me to see.

“You seem surprised.”

“Well, you never said anything!” I answered.

“I’ve told you why. Come here...” He hooked my arm in his and started back toward the party. “I’ve got something to do before people started leaving.”

And he did. Right there, at the reunion, he announced our engagement to the world.